Your thinking is slow, which is why it is not advisable to enter into important discussions. Postpone this for a better time. Realising that life is an illusion may concern you, especially if you have been accustomed to a conservative set of beliefs. Keep your options open and remember that life is about accepting different perspectives.
There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness. - Dalai Lama