In the arena of relationships we are constantly hearing the words “you have to work at it”. Very often, and sometimes for years I’ve seen clients doing exactly this – working hard at relationships but feeling short-changed by the fact that they no longer have that spontaneous love connection with the one they are committed to.
When is enough enough, you may ask? There a point in a relationship when the imbalance of one party giving more than the other becomes intolerable. This is the case as well when one tries to dominate the relationship and issues of control arise.
We are told that love is supposed to be unconditional and therefore with our best intentions we do our best to accommodate the other, to swallow our pride and bend over backwards trying to please them but all the while secretly resenting the fact that we are not having our needs met. This is why a relationship has to be based on mutual love, affection and respect.
I raise this issue this month because at this time the Moon is full and very near the planet Pluto. Generally speaking for all of us, there is an intensity of emotion during these lunar cycles and we must get in touch with our own feelings to get real about whether or not we are fulfilled in our relationships. On the other hand Pluto does have a bad reputation of being a power tripper and undermining people in their relationships.
The good news is that Pluto also rules personal transformation ( although, as a transpersonal planet it usually has to do with generational trends and societal changes ). Because of this, the current cycle we are in gives us the opportunity to fully examine our deepest feelings and to get real about our lives and what we want.
These cycles are difficult because they cause us to confront those deepest fears which also relate very strongly to issues of security. Naturally we want to feel secure in our relationships but if the person with whom we are married, or in a committed relationship with undermines our trust then the whole edifice of security crumbles leaving us feeling vulnerable. That is why introspection is essential now and although change is difficult particularly for those of you who are born under the fixed signs of Taurus, Scorpio, Leo and Aquarius, making the necessary changes is crucial.
Generally, I see that in relationships there is an imbalance and usually one partner dominates the other. I have to say in my 30 years of practice that it is very rare to find equality and a balanced reciprocation of love between two people. But what I have also found to be very sad is that this imbalance is allowed to continue unchecked, sometimes for years and then when one or other of the parties has reached breaking point, a sense of victimisation sets in resulting in helplessness.
Well readers, the other bit of good news is that you are never helpless and that this is just simply victimhood justifying your own weakness and continued suppression in a relationship that probably should have ended a long time ago. Overcoming these feelings of fear and inadequacy means being true to yourself and is often the most difficult thing but at the same time the easiest. Easy because recognising your own feelings doesn’t require anything outside yourself to point out exactly what emotions are troubling you. Difficult because once this is acknowledged you must act! And action which takes you out of your comfort zone into the unknown, insecurity, is something that has to be carefully weighed up before this first step is taken.
To take that first step, hand in glove with recognising your inner emotional turmoil, trust is essential. I’ve spoken about this on many occasions however don’t mistake this for being a reference to the trust between two people in love, so much as trust in the universal process of your own evolution, personal and spiritual development and where you are on your life path. Taking that first step rests wholly and solely on your ability to trust that Providence, the Universe, God, or whatever you want to call It will carry you through the most difficult transition.
There’s no shame in asking for help but sometimes it’s better to seek an unknown person to give you advice on these matters. Feel free to contact us here if you’d like us to appraise your horoscope and see what astrology has to say about your relationship and where you and your partner are destined to be.
I look forward to catching up with you again next month,